Lou Fellingham - Live Album "Review"

A Lou Fellingham live album is something to look forward to as she and Phatfish are dynamite in concert.  However this is an interesting time for such a release as her gigs have been somewhat unusual of late. I haven’t heard the CD yet, but the following review came to me in a dream….

Introduction : “Is everybody ready ? Please give a welcome to the greatest worship band in the world LOU FELLINGHAM AND PHATFISH !!” Silence…no band…the audience is getting impatient. “I said is everybody ready ? Let’s hear it for the greatest worship band in the world LOU FELLINGHAM AND PHATFISH !!”

The band starts tuning up and goes into the intro to “Promised Land”. Still no Lou. Nathan and Luke exchange weary glances; Lou’s Sly Stone obsession has made her punctuality somewhat erratic of late. The intro carries on and on; still the crowd noise bubbles away. Finally applause breaks out as Lou lurches on stage dressed in black trousers and a purple jacket, and swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels.  Nathan looks up in despair and drops the beat slightly – “it’s going to be one of those nights”, he’s thinking, but even he isn’t prepared for what follows.

Lou staggers up to the mike and eventually goes into the opening verse.  But as she gets to the “What a Saviour !” chorus the vocal suddenly stops; the band play on, Lou swigs from her bottle, and eventually returns to the mike. The tension is unbearable. She declaims “I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION !! I JUST WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME.  I’m kinda tired of all this evangelism crap. Tonight I just want everyone to love their neighbour !”. The band picks up the chorus again and Lou eventually completes the song. She reaches for her bottle, but before she’s able to take a swig the group launches into “Step Into The Light”.  Lou dances around manically as she proclaims the verses, and the song is given a relatively tight and competent performance.

Lou steps away from the mike again, takes a swig, and returns :- “I think I’ve lost a button on my trousers”, she says , “you wouldn’t want my trousers to fall down now would you !”. A few “whews !” are heard from the audience. Someone shouts “show us your bum Lou”. Lou turns away, takes a hit from the bottle, and eventually launches into a few perfunctory renditions of songs from her latest album. The band is subdued but the music is hypnotic – their nervousness is putting a coiled restraint and erratic, offhand intensity into their playing reminiscent of the music on Neil Young’s “Time Fades Away”.

Then she goes into “If I Don’t Have Love”. Lou slurs her way through a couple of verses, and then picks up her bottle and stares at the audience. She starts talking in a broken, confessional voice “You know I always thought this song was kinda bullshit. I’m always given the wimpy girly love song on the albums. But I wanna  tell you that 1 Corinthians 13 was written by someone who just didn’t know what he was talking about. What does a Saint know about love ? Let me tell you about love. When I come home at night after a hard day’s worshipping I want someone’s arms around me. I’m sick and tired of coming home to an empty flat and an empty bed” (Nathan had found her recent behaviour so hard to handle that he’d taken the kids back to Mum and Dad).  “I’ll sing you a real song about love…”. Incredibly she goes into a pain-wracked rendition of “Ball and Chain” – “IT AIN’T FAIR !”, she screams as the band backs her up with an impromptu blues vamp. The guitarist even makes a fair stab at a James Gurley solo. The crowd are struck dumb. There are even a few boos.

The band, in desperation, kicks off the intro to “Heavenbound”. This continues for a couple of minutes, and we hear someone yell “Paint it black, you devils”. The vocal comes in, wild and rasping, before the chorus suddenly slows down and the band quietens to a single repeated note backdrop. The crowd grows more and more agitated. There hasn’t been this much excitement on a live album since the late sixties. The crowd noises grow and grow…still the single bass note…on and on it goes until you worry that the CD has got stuck. Then “SHUT UP !!” followed, more quietly, by “Now is that any way to behave at a worship session ?” Back to the almost-silent bass note. The tension builds again…the quiet is unbearable …on and on it goes…we hear a disturbance in the crowd. “Well that’s Spring Harvest for you”, Lou slurs, “the only people who rush the stage are girls”. Laughter breaks out in the audience; the band members look at each other wearily – sometimes this song has dragged on for half-an-hour recently. But eventually Lou swigs from her bottle, turns back to the mike, and picks up the chorus. The band crashes through the rest of the song as fast as they can.

A couple more recent songs, then it’s time for the closing stretch of crowd-pleasers. “How Good It Is” stumbles into life like an old man’s erection. The vocal suddenly stops and Lou speaks again. “You know I’ve never understood how you can enjoy being loved by a spiritual being. I’m lonely. I need a man.  I need real love”. Nathan stares up from his drum kit in astonishment. Lou really is going too far tonight. “Forget all that crap about marriage. Forget celibacy. Forget homophobia. I don’t care whether you’re straight or gay, if you meet someone who wants you then this is what you’ve gotta do…this is what you’ve gotta do…”. She launches into “Get It While You Can”.  As her wracked, hysterical voice pours out like a river of whiskey, the band (who can barely remember the song) strikes up an edgy, tentative, stumbling backing.  The song builds to a chaotic, tearful, screaming finish. You can sense the collective gasps of the audience. They have never heard a worship session like this.  

Another hit from the bottle. Then this “YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKIN’ IDIOTS ! HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LET PASTORS PUSH YOU AROUND ? HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING ?  LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT FREEDOM ! NO FEAR, NO BARRIERS, NO LIMITS !”. Nathan glares up again – he knew he should never have let Lou go to the Edinburgh festival. Before she can take this rap further the band hurtles into “Holy Holy” and “There Is A Day”, and the concert lurches towards the finish.

Time for the last number…the band starts jamming as Lou turns away, slugs from her bottle, and lurches back towards the mike. A yell from the crowd :- “JUDAS !!”. Lou staggers away, turns around, and leans back into the mike. “I don’t believe you”, she slurs, “you’re a liar”. Then she turns to the band; “Play fuckin’ loud !”, she instructs. The intro strikes up, and Lou turns in an impassioned version of “Stained Glass Masquerade”, all rasping and slurring now gone from her voice as she delivers a crystal-clear, controlled, and heartfelt performance. The band builds up and up at the end; Lou turns back to the mike for one last message “If you take anything from tonight we pray that it’s the song you’ve just heard”.

Silence. The crowd does not know how to react. Some sporadic cheering breaks out along with a few wolf-whistles. Gradually the booing starts, and builds and builds. The CD ends. 

(Writer’s note : Lou Fellingham is a Christian singer and writer as well as the lead singer with Phatfish, which includes her husband Nathan and his brother Luke. They are one of the few Christian bands whose work stands up as great rock music. Lou’s live album should be brilliant and I do anticipate it with genuine pleasure. The news of its imminent release got me thinking about great moments on live albums in the past, hence the above set of surreal ramblings. I mean this for amusement only, with no offence to Lou, Phatfish, God, or anyone else intended, although there are some serious messages in the piece. Eric)